Pride

Pride is a deadly sin.

Being proud is not something to be proud of.

Have you ever had that feeling of guilt washing over you like a huge, kick-ass tidal wave as you literally watch someone start drowning in pain right in front of your eyes? Whether it's just a small thing that's upsetting them, or whether you know you're hurting them by not helping, the guilt that hits you is almost as deadly as the damage you've caused.

What goes around comes around right?

The thing that stops people from helping, from showing their concern and their weakness, from being the one to back out of a fight first and forfeit their dignity, is pride.

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Don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna close my eyes,
I don't wanna fall asleep cos I'll miss you babe,
And I don't wanna miss at thing

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I MISS DESIGN

I MISS IT I MISS IT I MISS IT

Today as I was doing these ridiculous maths questions in the first chapter of my $200 dollar maths text book that I'd bought for a one-semester-long maths paper, I thought to myself: "Why am I doing this?" Why? I never liked maths, never will, and it's definitely impossible for me to even begin to like the boring and unsatisfying multi-choice maths questions I have to do for this course.

WHY AM I NOT DOING DESGIN?

Sigh. Because this is the practical and successful and foolproof pathway through life. Comp sci will guarantee a good, relatively high paying job upon graduation. It requires me to take out no student loan as the three-year-degree fits nicely inside my three-year-scholarship. Upon graduation I work, I earn money, I do whatever the hell I want, get life experience, save up, travel, explore, live... then BAM I'm rich and happy and still in my ripe early 20s.

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Night-time; insomnia; hungry; so hungry

It's 1:37am in the morning. Why am I still up? :( I did basically zilch study for MATHS108 today. Got another 3 hour lab tomorrow morning. Need to shower. Need to decide what to wear. Need to do MATHS108...

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Home

So I recently moved away from home to another city for university. I had been waiting for this change to happen for over a year. Waiting and yearning for it, for some sort of change and escape from the dull, monotonous and suffocating life I'd lived back home. I convinced myself to hate repetition, routine, familiarity, and instead to embrace change, excitement and unpredictability.

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Tell me reader

Tell me reader,

Who are you right now?
In the eyes of others- both those who hate and those who love you, and in the eyes of yourself: Who are you? What are you?

If you can answer that reader, then tell me some more:

Can you truly remember what sort of person you were when you were a child?
What you wanted, who you were close to?
Can you remember how and when you changed to the person you are now?

Tell me again reader,

What is it like living your life? Are you happy? Sad? Angry? Content but feel like you're missing something truly amazing? Depressed but feel like it can surely get better?

Or have you lost all hope, like Luke Skywalker.

Now tell me one last thing reader, the last thing I want to know.

We are currently in the future of your past, you are the adult of that child.

Who could you have been in this future, and now, who will you be from this point on?

Timeline of Asian life

I think most asian kids out there living in a western country can relate when I say that our parents always pushed us to be extra-ordinary. Never just part of the crowd, another average joe. We had to excel, and dominate, be the glittering diamond amidst a pile of dull stones. Look at all the asians around you. How do you describe them? Hardout, that's how.

This is mostly stereotypical I guess, but it's also very true. The life-line (life timeline) of a stereotypical banana asian till adulthood is as follows:

...

1.5 years BB (before birth) Asian parents perilously escape their mother land and arrive on foreign dirt. They find a cheap dingy flat to live in while making little income from part time jobs that require little english.

9 months BB Eventually they gained enough money and experience to open up a little fish and chip/chinese takeaway shop. This will become the family business. Thus with a stable and steady income, they decide to conceive a child.

1.5 years AB (after birth) The asian kid is now one and a half years old. At this rate the parents are frantically teaching him/her as much english as possible, while at the same time still exposing him/her to his/her mother tongue. The child is expected to speak soon, thus indicating s/he is ready to be taught valuable asian skills such as english, playing the violin and badminton.

5 years AB The asian kid is sent to school and lessons for some form of musical instrument begin, usually either a) the violin or b) the piano.

7 years AB The asian kid is now exposed to some form of asian sport they can excel at in the future such as a) badminton, b) table tennis, c) basketball, d) Kungfu/Taekwondo/Karate or e) (very very rarely) swimming/football/other 'white' sport that asians usually fail at.

12 years AB At this age the parents will start to monitor the grades. A close eye is kept out for English (this must never fall too low in order for the child to attain a good job in this foreign country), Maths (looking for any signs of mathematical genius as this has a high occurrence rate amongst asians), Science (looking for signs of possible doctor/engineer material) and lastly Music/art (In the case where all other grades are crap, this may be exempted if the asian kid appears to be a musical or artistic prodigy)

16 years AB The asian kid is expected to have accomplished at least some notable achievements thus far in any field. Eg. Won a piano competition, received first place medals for chosen sport, had his/her artwork displayed in a prominent location of the school with a special mention, came in the country's top 2% for a mathematics/science competition, or the parents' favourite, received grades that were top in his/her year at least once, if not for several years consecutively.

18 years AB The asian kid must now get into a very respectable and good university. They must have also chosen their profession. The criteria for an asian profession are as follows:

1. It must sound respectable, prestigious and difficult to learn/master.
2. It must be high-paying.
3. In the case where it is not high-paying, provided it sounds difficult and prestigious enough and possibly also have the chance of fame and glory, it may be exempt from criteria #2. Eg. Concert pianist, artist, designer, youtube celebrity.

(However if after a period of 5-10 years the asian kid still has produced no national/international fame or satisfactory money, this profession can no longer be classified as a successful asian profession and instead will be downgraded to simply a failure.)

N/B: In the case where the asian kid fails to produce a satisfactory career path for themselves, all hope is not lost. They are still able to be given a final opportunity by taking over the family business, getting married, and producing a grandchild (preferably a boy, and preferably more than one in case the eldest becomes a failure). This grandchild will then be raised well and be expected to succeed where the original asian kid failed.

...

So next time you meet a young asian, whatever country you may be in, give them a pat on the back and a sincere "good luck". Cos now you know, they'll need it. Fosho.