NOTE TO SELF

I am such a freaking retard.

Next time I do something as dumb as this again, please follow the following procedure:

Step one: Stop hating myself
Step two: Stop wallowing in my loss
Step three: Repeatedly smack my head against the desk until I lose consciousness
Step four: Ideally lose all memory of doing said stupid thing and proceed to start again on work as if the last four hours hadn't happened

Step five: NEVER DO SOMETHING DUMB LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN

A guitar song

Sitting by myself in the window seat at subway. A melancholic guitar melody strums from the radio and drifts to people walking hurriedly outside. I wonder if they hear it? The song seems to seep through me. I feel like I'm transcending the monotonous landscape of my dull surroundings and one of those people outside must have pressed play on a secret brain controlling remote while walking past. A ridiculous musical montage begins attacking my thoughts. I'm given no peace and quiet to wallow in solitude. I'm forced instead to relive ridiculously happy memories of us as the guitar strums on, suddenly so annoying and crisp and cheery.I feel like I'm in an Asian music video where the girl dwells in guilt of her rage at some hot boyfriend figure and then proceeds to reminense in a cliched flash back of their most heart warming moments; stitched together into a neat little montage by a soulful and tender voice humming over the light strum of a few shy guitar notes.

This is really ridiculous...the subway lady must have put something in my meatballs.

Bring back the old days?

So I found myself still awake during the early hours of the morning again today, reading page after page after page of a delicious Harry Potter fanfiction I just couldn't put down. Snuggled up in my big warm bed with layers of smothering cotton duvet piled around me like a giant hug, listening to the pattering rain outside my window, reading line after giggling line of dramione, I really felt so warm and content and safe that it makes me want to dive right back into my duvets again even thought it's 4pm in the afternoon.

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