Sunday, December 19, 2010

How to be a good person and be yourself

Sometimes I wish there was an instruction manual on "How to be a good person". We grow up influenced by things like the Disney movies, pop songs, children's fiction and all this other stuff telling us how we should behave, what's moral, what's good and what's not. I suppose our parents (or I guess those who are fortunate enough to still have them around) are also meant to raise us to we understand the values of kindness, generosity, compassion, courage... even empathy and forgiveness. 

But. Now that we've grown up we question ourselves a lot. Or I do anyway. Maybe it's an indication of the failure of my up bringing. I can't say my parents are bad parents though, of course not. Maybe, like Shakespeare said, "good wombs can born bad sons". We're not our parents, so perhaps there is such thing as someone who's born as a bad person? I don't really believe that, surely if you raise a murder's son to be a kind priest, he will undoubtedly become a kind priest?

According to yin and yan there is a bit of good and bad in all of us. But sometimes I feel like I am  actually such a terrible person in so many ways. I'm not religious in any way, I don't think I can ever believe. But when I decided to look up the Seven Deadly Sins I felt almost every single on applied to me, and to be honest a lot of kids born in the new millennium. We're spoiled to indulge in excess, become over-confident and lazy to do work, become extremely horny hormone-driven teenagers, often rage a lot as teenagers too, and most of us desire things like money and status (whether that be popularity and the latest iphone or a long term goal of being a billionaire).

So are these bad things to want? Because I sure as hell am pretty much guilty of all 7. Does that make me an awful person? My biggest faults as a person, I've concluded, are:
1. Vanity
2. Profanity LOL JK fortunately. It just rhymed too nicely.
2. Gluttony/ over indulging in excess

3. Categorising people before I really know them
4. Fear or inability to show how much I care to those I'm close to
5. Over confidence in my own abilities
6. Being a know-it-all and being unable to shut up about something I know about
7. Being defensive about anything (even if I don't side with it)
8. Inability to not start an argument when I disagree..
9. Inability to shake off this sense of superiority sometimes
10. And at the same time, being unable to shake of a sense of insecurity and worry about how other people see me. And feeling like I want to run off and hide under my duvet in bed when someone says something that I find hurtful.

Wow I really hope no one reads this blog.....

I just feel like such a horrible person sometimes. Selfish. Yeah oops I guess I forgot about that trait as well. I try, but maybe you can't change who you are. Honestly it's a matter of opinion and perspective isn't it? Pride can be considered a powerful trait. Greed for power and money can be translated forcibly into really, really big ambition. And ambition is good. Vanity is necessary among a lot of professions and places these days, like modelling say, or being a celebrity. Working in the fashion industry.

We're also taught to be ourselves. Not be affected by others. But what if being yourself means having bad traits? Being proud, vain, greedy? What's right and what's wrong? Can anything turly even influence who we are? Can we really decide what sort of person to be?? 

Why are humans so complex. Why can't be just be like rabbits and screw all the time...


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