White flag

I won't go down with this ship
I won't hold my head up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Will I go down with this ship?
Will I hold my head up and surrender?
Will there be my white flag above your door
I'm in love

Always will be

Hold on to your sanity

Lately I've realised that deep down, everyone's really screwed in the head in some way. Inside every single person lies a pool of insecurities they hide from the world. But the thing is, some people deal with it fine right?

There are some people who are like these strong fearless beasts, able to hold their head up high and proudly stalk through a sea of onlookers without even so much as blinking an eye over what other people might think of them.

But then, there are also those people who only pretend to act fearless, pretend to hold their head up and not care about such things when really deep down, it's slowly gnawing away at their conscience and sanity and eating them up. It takes away their confidence. Happiness. Reason.

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One day

One day, I will finish all my assignments early, like I always wanted to.

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Pride

Pride is a deadly sin.

Being proud is not something to be proud of.

Have you ever had that feeling of guilt washing over you like a huge, kick-ass tidal wave as you literally watch someone start drowning in pain right in front of your eyes? Whether it's just a small thing that's upsetting them, or whether you know you're hurting them by not helping, the guilt that hits you is almost as deadly as the damage you've caused.

What goes around comes around right?

The thing that stops people from helping, from showing their concern and their weakness, from being the one to back out of a fight first and forfeit their dignity, is pride.

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Don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna close my eyes,
I don't wanna fall asleep cos I'll miss you babe,
And I don't wanna miss at thing

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I MISS DESIGN

I MISS IT I MISS IT I MISS IT

Today as I was doing these ridiculous maths questions in the first chapter of my $200 dollar maths text book that I'd bought for a one-semester-long maths paper, I thought to myself: "Why am I doing this?" Why? I never liked maths, never will, and it's definitely impossible for me to even begin to like the boring and unsatisfying multi-choice maths questions I have to do for this course.

WHY AM I NOT DOING DESGIN?

Sigh. Because this is the practical and successful and foolproof pathway through life. Comp sci will guarantee a good, relatively high paying job upon graduation. It requires me to take out no student loan as the three-year-degree fits nicely inside my three-year-scholarship. Upon graduation I work, I earn money, I do whatever the hell I want, get life experience, save up, travel, explore, live... then BAM I'm rich and happy and still in my ripe early 20s.

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Night-time; insomnia; hungry; so hungry

It's 1:37am in the morning. Why am I still up? :( I did basically zilch study for MATHS108 today. Got another 3 hour lab tomorrow morning. Need to shower. Need to decide what to wear. Need to do MATHS108...

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